


Apartment 8C

by Nobody_Music_19



Series: Multiple Sclerosis [2]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Accidents, Anorexia, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Basketball, Bed-Wetting, Bulimia, College, Coming Out, Crying, Cutting, Depression, Developing Relationship, Diapers, Disability, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, Family, Gay, Hospitals, Injury, M/M, Medical, Multiple Sclerosis, Panic Attacks, Physical Disability, Seizures, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sequel, Suicidal Thoughts, Urination, Wetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23195245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobody_Music_19/pseuds/Nobody_Music_19
Summary: High school was difficult, but college is a whole other story.However this time,They are together.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Series: Multiple Sclerosis [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667593
Comments: 51
Kudos: 86





	1. Ten Minutes In Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome everybody! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading Multiple Sclerosis!! 
> 
> I can't wait to share this story with you, you have no idea what is heading your way ;)
> 
> ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° • ° 
> 
> If you haven't read Multiple Sclerosis yet, you don't necessarily need to to know what's going on. However, I'd recommend starting there.

° • °

Tyler and Josh finished out their senior year as painful as it was after Henry opened his loud mouth, and were figuring out their plans for after high school. 

Tyler got a full scholarship to Michigan State University after a representative watched him play at one of his final basketball games. He of course accepted it, fully aware he would never be able to afford college tuition any other way. The only problem that came with that was distance. The school was a little under four hours from Columbus. That obviously created a problem with his relationship with Josh that was still going strong. 

Thankfully, Josh decided to take a gap year, not entirely sure if college was for him. Together they decided to rent an apartment close to the university so they could stay close to one another. Besides, it was for the best regarding Tyler’s health situation. 

Throughout the remainder of the school year, Tyler’s seizures progressively got worse. The lesion on his brain slightly increased in size, and as a result he started having different types of seizures, adding Absence, and Complex Focal seizures on top of the Grand Mals. Unfortunately, with that came the medications with undesirable side effects, and the revocation of his driver's license. He had reached the point where he was no longer deemed safe to operate a vehicle. Josh became his personal shofar but neither of them really minded the arrangement. 

Josh started going to an Eating Disorder Specialist Center and meeting with a team that was helping him recover. He started a meal plan, and with Tyler’s help and closeful eye, he was doing much better. He wanted to get better. For Tyler. 

Tyler was also doing much better, learning different healthy ways to cope with his anxiety. He was for the first time ever, nine months self harm free, and was having far less panic attacks. Of course, coming out and being accepted probably played a large role in that, because he was no longer constantly afraid, but he was definitely doing better than before. 

Tyler and Josh were helping each other far more than either of them could ever realize, and were excited for what their future would hold. 

Together.

° • °

○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● ○ ● 

° • °

And so it begins:

Josh groaned and rolled over to shut off his alarm as soon as it started blaring in his ear. He swore it was going off earlier and earlier every day. He rolled back over, threw an arm over Tyler’s waist, and closed his eyes, not ready to get up yet. He felt Tyler shift next to him and squinted one of his eyes open to find Tyler’s eyes focused on him. “Good morning.” Josh replied groggily, “It's too early, five more minutes.” Tyler tiredly laughed then sat up, “Come on, it's my first day meeting the team. I can't be late.” Josh closed his eyes again, “Yeah, yeah.” 

His eyes reopened when a pillow smacked him in the face, followed by Tyler’s laughter. He groaned and pushed the pillow next to him on the bed, “Okay, I'm getting up.”  
“Thank you,” Tyler replied dramatically. Josh playfully rolled his eyes, then sat up as Tyler walked into the bathroom to take a shower. 

Josh threw his legs off of the side of the bed, then picked up his phone off of the nightstand. He checked his inbox, then scrolled through the news, checking anything he could possibly have to reply to or read. After coming to the conclusion that there was nothing important happening in the world, he placed his phone back on the nightstand, and flopped backwards onto the bed. He swore he only closed his eyes for two seconds, but Tyler was done showering and throwing more pillows at him. “I thought you were getting up.” Josh rubbed a hand over his eyes, “I did...until I didn't.” Tyler huffed jokingly, “Come one.” 

Together they walked out of their bedroom and into the kitchen for breakfast. Josh sat down at the small table while Tyler checked the calendar to see what they were having. It said it was a banana day, so he pulled one off of the bundle, then walked over to Josh and handed it to him. “Thank you.” Tyler nodded, “Yep.” Then he walked back over to the pantry to pour himself a bowl of cereal. He got out a bowl and poured the cereal in, then went to get the new gallon of milk out of the refrigerator. After getting the milk and pulling off the plastic sealer, he walked back over to his cereal and started pouring it in. 

Josh was in the process of eating his banana and looked over when he heard the sound of water hitting the hardwood floor. He dropped his banana on the table and jumped up to reach Tyler. He immediately picked up the gallon of milk that was laying on its side on the countertop, Tyler barely holding onto it. Then, he turned to Tyler, whose head was turned to the right and eyes were repeatedly blinking. He brought his hands up to Tyler’s shoulders and gently guided him away from the stream of milk that was dripping off of the countertop and onto his clothes. 

Not even a second later Tyler turned his head to look at Josh, then looked down at his shirt that was soaked with milk. Tyler breathed out of his nose, and groaned when he took a step forward and felt the milk his socks had soaked up. Josh placed a hand on his back, “It's not a big deal, I can clean it up.” Tyler wiped his hands on his shirt and sighed, “I'm sorry.” Josh shook his head, “Hey, no, don't apologize. It's okay.” Tyler turned to face Josh, “This is why you're my favorite.” Josh smiled at him, then brought his hands up to Tyler’s head and kissed the side of his face. “Go change, I've got this handled.” Tyler lightly smiled, “Thanks, Josh,” then he walked back to their bedroom to change his clothes. 

Josh stepped over the puddle of milk on the floor and picked up a kitchen towel. He set it over the puddle to soak it up, then picked up the cap for the milk jug. Tyler had successfully dumped out one forth of it onto himself and the floor, barely even getting any in his bowl of cereal. Josh sighed, and poured some into the bowl, then screwed the cap on and put it away in the fridge.

He kneeled down on the floor and started mopping the milk up with the towel. Once most of it was soaked up, he wet the sponge in the sink, then bent down and started cleaning the area on the floor so it would not become sticky. He repeated that a couple of times, then got out a new kitchen towel and started drying the floor. After that, he cleaned off the countertop and moved Tyler’s cereal to the table. 

Josh looked up when Tyler walked back into the room wearing a completely different ensemble. He smiled at him, “Your cereal is on the table.” Tyler nodded and thanked him, then sat down at the table. Once Josh finished drying the countertop, he made his way over to Tyler and sat down at the table. “Are you ready for today?” Tyler glanced up at him, “Yeah, but I'm not totally sure what we're doing. The email I got from the coach was pretty vague. Although he said we aren't playing today.” Josh nodded, then joked, “I bet you'll sit in a circle and do get to know you activities.” Tyler chuckled, “Yeah, okay.” 

Josh picked his banana back up, “You're meeting your roommate today too, right?” Tyler nodded. He had to explain to his roommate, who was also on the basketball team, that he was not actually going to sleep in their dorm because he lived with Josh at their apartment. Josh looked up at him, “I'm sure he's going to be happy when he finds out he gets the whole room to himself.” Tyler laughed, “I think anyone would be happy if they-” 

Josh looked up from peeling his banana, then sighed. Once again Tyler’s eyelids were fluttering while he stared, but that time his mouth also continuously opened and closed. Josh kept his eyes on him until he snapped out of it, “Are you back?” Tyler looked at him momentarily confused, but then nodded his head. Josh sighed, “Look, I know it's the first day and everything but is it really a good idea to go? You've had two absence seizures in the last half hour.” Tyler looked down, “Three.”  
“What?” Josh asked, wondering if he was still slightly confused. “Three. I think I had one in the shower too.” 

Josh sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “I can call off and stay here with you today.” Tyler rolled his eyes, “I'm fine. I'm going. Besides, you've only worked two days, they would never let you call off already.” Josh threw his hands up, “Then I'll just quit.” Tyler shook his head slowly, “What am I gonna do with you?” Josh smiled, “Just kiss me; you know you want to.” 

Tyler rolled his eyes, then leaned across the table and kissed Josh’s lips. “Okay, we have to leave now.” he said standing up and heading towards their bedroom to get his bag. Josh leaned back in his chair, “Did you take your meds yet?” Tyler stopped where he was and turned around walking back into the kitchen to take his medication. One Lamotrigine pill and one Pregobalin pill. Tyler did not see why he had to take them because he still had seizures, even while on the medications, and the number of absence seizures he had had actually increased. However, his doctor said the number of grand mal seizures he had had decreased and apparently that was what mattered. His doctor also did not really care that the medication sometimes made him so dizzy that he had to lay down on the floor until it passed, or that he would experience such extreme nausea at times, he would cry. Nope. That was supposedly not a problem at all whatsoever.

After Tyler took his medications and grabbed his backpack out of their room, he and Josh were on their way to the university. They stepped outside onto the concrete, both extremely happy they managed to end up up the ground level. Josh lifted up his keys and locked the door to their home. 

Apartment 8C 

Josh took Tyler’s hand and they walked down the sidewalk to Josh’s car. Tyler got into the passengers side and placed his backpack by his feet, while Josh got into the drivers seat. They put their seat belts on, then were on their way to the university. It was a short car ride. Thankfully their apartment was only about ten minutes away. Josh pulled into the parking lot, then turned to face Tyler, “Call me when you're done, and have a great day.” Tyler smiled, then leaned forward and kissed Josh’s lips, “I'll see you later, bye.” He got out of the car, swinging his backpack over his shoulder, then waved at Josh as he drove away. Josh was headed to the small coffee shop where he luckily got a job, and Tyler headed into the school where he luckily got accepted. 

° • °

Tyler walked into the gym that was stated in the email and found several guys sitting in gray metal chairs that were set up in a circle in the middle of the gym. He approached them slightly confused, wondering if he was in the correct place. He was having flashbacks to when he was fifteen and his mom forced him to go to group therapy sessions. 

He spotted and older man in one of the chairs as he got closer, “Hello! Welcome! And who are you?” The man looked to be around sixty years old. He had white hair, a mustache, and kind eyes. He was rocking the grandpa belly and looked like he was everyone's friend. Tyler glanced around at the other guys before he responded, “I'm Tyler.” The man stood up to shake his hand, “Hello, Tyler! I'm Coach John and welcome to the team. Please have a seat.” Tyler slowly turned around and sat down in an empty chair, then threw his backpack on the floor next to him. 

It was an actual medical backpack. He really upgraded from the drawstring. The new one was black, had actual zippers, and the medical symbol plastered all over it. It also had his medical card, that he finally received from his doctor, in a clear plastic pouch on the front. He put it in backwards, not wanting everyone reading his business, but it was there nonetheless. He had everything inside sorted neatly as well. Everything had a pocket; diapers, wipes, creams, extra pants, emergency anticonvulsant medications, and nausea medication because sometimes he really needed it. 

They all sat in an uncomfortable silence while everyone else arrived, but thankfully after ten minutes everyone was there and they were able to start whatever it was they were starting. 

The coach stood up, “Hello everyone! I'm Coach John, but please feel free to just call me John. We are all equals here, no need to throw Coach in front of my name,” he said chuckling. Tyler glanced around at everyone else as he spoke, taking in their facial expressions that were just as confused as his. “Now you're all probably wondering what's going on here. Well, I believe that in order for a team to be successful, we all need to know each other personally, and connect with each other. Look around at the people beside you, these men are now your family. You will treat them with the same respect you expect to be treated with or you will leave this team. Now I think I'm a pretty nice guy, but I can be a real asshole if I need to be.” Tyler smiled because Coach John sort of in a way reminded him of Mr. Rodgers.

“There will be no secrets on this team. We are a family. All of that being said, let's get started.” He clapped his hands, then turned to the guy on on his left. The guy started saying something about how his name was Cole, then someone else two chairs down was speaking. 

Tyler reached a hand up when he felt something on his chin, and his hand came back covered in saliva. Thoughts raced though his mind. That could only mean one thing. He had another absence seizure. He was positive. What else could have happened? Josh was right. He probably should have stayed home. Josh was right about the ‘get to know you activities’ too, regardless of if he was joking. Josh was always right. Why did Tyler never listen to him? 

Tyler looked up when he felt eyes on him. Coach John was looking directly at him, along with everyone else. “Tell us a little bit about you.” Tyler swallowed, still a little disoriented and confused, “Uhh, I'm Tyler.” Coach John nodded, “Where are you from?” Tyler nervously glanced around at the other guys, “Columbus, Ohio.”  
“Oh, so you're staying on campus?” Tyler shook his head, still glancing around. He felt scared. He felt overwhelmed. He reminded himself that he was safe. 

“I rent an apartment with my boyfriend.” Tyler felt a wave of accomplishment shoot through him. His new therapist in Michigan, Steven, told Tyler to practice coming out to people and using the term ‘boyfriend’, because it would make him feel more comfortable with himself. 

The Coach nodded again, “How long have you two been together?” Tyler took a shaky breath as he did a quick tally in his head, “Ten months.” Coach John smiled at him, “That's wonderful, thank you for sharing with us, Tyler.” And just like that, he was no longer the center of attention as everyone's focus shifted to the person next to him. Tyler then focused on breathing and getting his heart rate back to what it should have been while sitting down. 

They continued going though all of the guys, and Tyler had completely calmed down. That was until his head slowly turned to the right, his eyes slightly rolled back, and his eyelids started fluttering. He started opening and closing his mouth, causing a string of drool to drip down his shirt. The guy on his right noticed Tyler ‘looking at him’ and started doing the awkward ‘I want to look but I know I'm not supposed to’ motion. Eventually he did look up, and all it took was one look at Tyler to know something was not right. “Are you alright, dude?” the guy whispered to him. 

Tyler did not respond, and his fingers started twitching. The guy was about to bring a hand up to Tyler’s shoulder, but Tyler jerked forward and fell off of his chair, onto the gym floor. His body wasted no time in starting to shake and spasm. Everyone in the room momentarily froze out of shock before jumping into action. 

Coach John was immediately next to Tyler and rolling him on his side. “Support his head!” he yelled to one of the guys who was also by Tyler. Inhuman noises came from his throat and blood poured from his nose, due to the impact of hitting the floor face first. Tyler’s limbs hit the floor over and over as his body shook. 

One minute.

His lift arm slowly moved inward towards his chest, becoming completely stiff. His eyelids continued to flutter open and closed only revealing the whites of his eyes. 

Two minutes.

His body would not let up as it spasmed. Tyler was drooling all over himself and the floor as his mouth opened and closed. His face was a mess; covered in a mixture of blood and saliva.

Three minutes.

A long high pitched whine involuntaily escaped his throat as his head attempted to hit the gym floor again and again. His right wrist hit the floor with a loud thud as he continued to shake. 

Four minutes. 

Coach John was yelling for someone to call an ambulance, positive that it had been at least eight minutes since the seizure had started. It seemed like it was never going to end as Tyler’s body shook and hit the floor again and again and again. 

Five minutes. 

They were entering the danger zone. Tyler’s eyelids continued to flutter, noises continued to escape his throat, and his body continued to shake. Everyone in the room was 

T  
E  
R  
R  
I  
F  
I  
E  
D 

Six minutes.

Tyler’s body stopped shaking. He laid unconcious on the hard gym floor, his teammates all around his. His body was limp, trying to recover from the trauma it had just went through. 

Seven minutes.

Coach John was checking his pulse on his neck, and placing a hand in front of his mouth, making sure he was still alive and still breathing.

Eight minutes. 

His teammates had gotten wet towels to place on his head because he was sweating so much, his body freaking out. 

Nine minutes.

The first responders were there and loading his unconscious body onto a stretcher to take him away. 

Ten minutes. 

He was in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask on his face, being taken to the hospital. 

It was his first grand mal seizure in nearly four months. 

° • °

Josh had just stepped into the back area of the coffee shop to take his break when his phone rang. He answered it, “Hello?” 

“Is this Joshua Dun?” 

Josh pulled his apron over his head, “This is he.”

“Hello, this is Sparrow Hospital. I am calling in regards to Tyler Joseph.” 

Josh felt his stomach drop.

“I'm on my way.”

TBC


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, I hope you're liking it so far.
> 
> I really appreciate to hear your thoughts in the comments :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please and thank you ; )
> 
> Thank you for the positive feedback on the first chapter :) 
> 
> The next chapter is when things start to get a little messy ;P

Josh frantically followed the nurse through the hallway that was escorting him to Tyler’s room. “Right through here,” said the nurse as he opened the door. Josh immediately walked inside where he found Tyler lying on a hospital bed and another nurse removing the sticky wires from his skin. Josh reached forward and took Tyler’s hand into his own, noting the blood marks where an IV undiably was only minutes before, “Hey, Ty.” The nurse paused what she was doing to speak to Josh, “We had to give him a mild sedative because he started seizing again after arrival, so it may be awhile before he’s awake and fully aware of his surroundings.” 

Josh nodded his head, but kept his eyes on Tyler’s face. His eyes were closed and he had sticky circles from the wires that had just been removed on his neck and chest, disappearing under the hospital gown. Josh waited for the nurse to finish removing all of the wires attached to his boyfriend and leave the room before he pulled the metal chair in the corner up to Tyler’s bed. Josh gently picked up Tyler’s hand again to hold it while he sat, careful not to touch the swollen area from the IV. 

He looked up when there was a knock on the door and it opened. A tall doctor walked in with a clipboard. He gave Josh a tired smile as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. He stuck his hand out for Josh to shake, “I am Doctor Manza.” Josh gave him a slight head nod, “Josh.” The doctor nodded, “And what is your relation to-” he glanced down at his clipboard, “Mr. Joseph?” They were both adults, so Josh did not see why it mattered, but he replied nonetheless, “I’m his boyfriend.” The doctor nodded and continued to read over his clipboard, “Okay, well it seems that Mr. Joseph is already on two anticonvulsant medications that seem to be doing a good job of controlling the seizures. The last recorded grand mal was four months and eleven days ago. He is listed to have Multiple Sclerosis, so all variables considered, he is doing very well. Unfortunately, sometimes it will just happen. Now, I do not want to change any of his medications because they seem to be working rather efficiently, so all he needs is rest.” Josh nodded, and tried to make eye contact. 

Doctor Manza set his clipboard down on the countertop, then opened a cabinet from behind him. He pulled out a bin that held Tyler’s clothes, “I trust you will be able to help him get dressed. A nurse will be in in a few minutes with some paperwork you will need to sign, and after that you may leave. Take him home and make sure he rests.” He offered Josh a smile, handed him the bin holding Tyler’s clothes, then left the room, closing the door behind him. Josh sighed and sat back down on the chair he had moved. 

He lifted a hand and gently shook Tyler’s shoulders, then ran his hand lightly over Tyler’s face, “Hey, Ty. Wake up.” Tyler’s eyes slowly opened and focused on him, and he one hundred percent looked drugged. Josh smiled at him, “Hey,” Tyler continued to stare, not giving any sign that he was aware of what was going on. His eyes slowly started to move around the room while his head stayed still. “We’re at the hospital,” Josh told him, trying to help him comprehend where he was. Tyler just continued his lifeless staring, so Josh tried to prompt him to speak. “Are you ready to go home?” That must have connected something in his brain, because a noise sounded from the back of his throat. 

Josh looked at him with hope in his eyes, then asked again, “Do you want to go home?” Tyler blinked then opened and closed his mouth, making a humming noise in the process. Josh picked up his hand again, “It’s okay. We can stay here as long as we need to.” Tyler’s eyes completely focused on him, and Josh figured that was progress. 

Someone knocked on the door, then stepped inside. Josh looked up to find a nurse with a packet of paper and a pen. “I need a couple of signatures for Mr. Joseph’s visit today.” Josh took the papers from her. “Everywhere you need to sign is highlighted.” Josh nodded, then turned around so he could use the countertop as a hard surface to write on. 

That must have flipped something inside Tyler’s mind, because he started anxiously whining. A lot. Josh discarded the papers and immediately turned around to tend to Tyler. “Hey, hey, I’m right here. I’m not leaving you, I promise.” The nurse went to check the monitors, afraid something was medically wrong, but Josh interrupted her, “He’s fine. He just gets scared after seizures while he’s still disoriented.” She ignored him, and checked the monitors anyway, so Josh quickly signed the papers and held them out to her so she would leave. 

Once she left the room, Josh turned back to Tyler and spoke softly, “Sorry about that.” Tyler hummed a response that sounded more like real words than before. Josh smiled at him excitedly, and rubbed his hand across his arm, “You’re getting there.” Tyler half smiled, signalling that he was picking up on their conversation. “Let’s wait another ten minutes or so, then we’ll go home.” Tyler hummed again, and sounded like he was attempting to say ‘okay’. 

Josh passed the time by telling him about all of the weird interactions he had with customers at work, happy each time Tyler would respond. By the six minute mark, Tyler was forming real words, only slightly mispronouncing them. After twelve minutes had passed, Josh decided Tyler was functioning well enough for them to go home. He stood up and grabbed Tyler’s clothes off of the countertop, “Alright, let’s get your clothes back on so we can go home.” He helped Tyler stand up and balance because he was still very unsteady on his feet, and Josh did not let go until he was positive Tyler was not going to fall over. 

Josh reached for the bottom of the hospital gown that Tyler was wearing, and carefully pulled it over his head. Tyler could not help but become irritated as he realized he was once again wearing one of the old people diapers supplied by the hospital, however Josh seemed entirely unfazed. 

He picked up Tyler’s jeans, then bent down by his feet. Tyler balanced himself by holding onto Josh’s shoulders as he helped him step into his jeans. Josh stood up and pulled Tyler’s pants up once he got both of his legs in. He then turned around to grab Tyler’s shirt, letting him have some independence and button and zip his pants himself. Tyler frustratedly huffed, “Not working!” Josh turned around to find that Tyler was unable to get his jeans buttoned, so he reached forward to do it himself. He attempted to button them twice, but quickly discovered that it was simply not going to happen. The hospital diaper was apparently baggier than what he normally wore, because it was too big to get his pants to button. Josh looked up at his face, “It’s fine. Your shirt is long and you can change when we get home.” Tyler huffed, clearly not happy, but lifted his arms when Josh moved to pull his shirt on. 

° • ° 

Back at their apartment they were laying together on their couch, watching a movie. Well, Josh was watching the movie. Tyler was lying pressed up against Josh and resting his head on his shoulder, sound asleep. 

After leaving the hospital, they went straight home where Josh helped Tyler change into pajamas, then set him up on the couch to take a nap while he made dinner. Now Josh was not a good cook by any means, but he could handle throwing a frozen pizza in the oven and checking it every couple of minutes so it would not burn. 

Josh woke Tyler up when the pizza was ready and cooled off. He, himself, managed to eat one and a half pieces, the thought of how much grease was in it only creeping into his mind a couple of times. And Tyler surprisingly only ate two pieces as opposed to the four he normally ate, the anticonvulsants given to him at the hospital still leaving him pretty nauseous and without an appetite. 

Josh cleaned up dinner while Tyler went and laid down on the couch again because he still felt very sluggish and unenergetic. 

Josh laid down with Tyler once he finished cleaning up dinner, and put a movie on the television. That was how they spent the remainder of their evening. Tyler asleep on his boyfriend, and Josh leaning down to kiss his forehead every so often. 

They were going to be okay. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comments, subscribe, share.
> 
> Stay Alive,  
> A.


	3. Curiosity "Killed" The Tyler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please Comment :) I love feedback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I have a female friend named Hunter. It can happen, okay? 
> 
> I got 0% of my schoolwork done today, but hey I wrote this. 
> 
> Who's excited for the new song? 
> 
> How cute was the video of Rosie 'talking' to Tyler?

Tyler opened his eyes when he heard Josh’s alarm start blaring next to him. Josh moved to turn it off, but Tyler simply moved farther into his pillow. “Good morning.” He opened his eyes again when Josh started talking to him. “How are you feeling?” Tyler yawned before he answered, “I’m good.” Josh did not look convinced, “Are you sure?” Tyler nodded his head, slightly annoyed, “Yes, I’m sure.” 

Josh looked at him warily before he continued, “Because if you don’t feel up to going today, I’ll stay home with you.” Tyler leaned forward and kissed his lips, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. I promise.” Josh still had an uncomfortable expression on his face, “Will you call me if you don’t feel well?” Tyler jokingly rolled his eyes, “Yeah, sure. But I won’t need to, I promise I’m okay.” Josh eventually nodded his head, so Tyler leaned forward and kissed him one last time, then got off of their bed to go take a shower. 

Josh rubbed his face once Tyler disappeared into the bathroom; his worry for his boyfriend gave him a headache. 

. . . . . 

Tyler was standing in front of their stove cooking breakfast, while Josh was seated at their small table. It was an egg day, which was definitely not one of Josh’s favorite days. “Have you made any friends at work yet?” Tyler asked as he continued to cook. Josh rested his head on his arms, “No.” Tyler could not help but chuckle at the one word response. “Did you even try?”   
“No.” Tyler rolled his eyes, “Make that your goal today please. You’ll enjoy working a lot more if you actually like the people you work with.” Josh nodded, “Okay.” 

Tyler walked over to the table carrying two plates of food. He set the plate filled with scrambled eggs and blueberries in front of Josh, then set an identical plate (along with a piece of toast with jelly) in front of himself. “Thanks.” Tyler nodded as he sat down. 

They made small talk as they ate, just happy to be in each other’s presence. And just like that, it was 8:00 a.m, and they were out the door and heading towards the college. Tyler stared out the window, absentmindedly playing with the straps on his backpack as they drove. For the entire car ride, the only sound audible was the songs playing on the radio. Josh pulled into the parking lot and up to the sidewalk. He put the car in park, then turned to face Tyler, “Please call me if you need anything.” Tyler gave a slightly uncomfortable smile, then leaned forward and kissed him, “I will. See you later.” Josh sighed, but nodded, “Bye.” He waited until Tyler made it inside the building before he pulled away. 

Tyler made his way to the library once he entered the school because his class did not start until 10:00 a.m. The only problem with the whole ‘Tyler was not allowed to drive’ situation, was that on the days that he did not have basketball, he had to sit around at the school and wait for his classes to start because Josh had to drop him off and be at work by 8:30a.m. 

At 9:55a.m. Tyler walked into the large classroom that held his required english class, and surveyed the room. There had to be at least forty people already there. He took a deep breath, then walked up to a seat away from everyone else. He sat his medical backpack on the floor next to him, then placed his laptop on the long curved table that wrapped around the room. He watched the interactions of the people in the room, absentmindedly thinking about nothing in particular. THUD! Tyler jumped as his head whipped to the left. A backpack had been thrown on the table, and a muscular male with dark blond hair sat down in the seat next him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t think that would be so loud.” Tyler shook his head as he remembered to breathe again, “It’s alright.” 

The guy turned to face him, then stuck out his right hand, “I’m Gavin.” Tyler shook his hand, “Tyler.” Gavin nodded, “Nice to meet you. You see, I need to find at least one person in each of my classes to talk to and you seemed the most approachable out of everybody here.” Tyler chuckled, “Thanks?” Gavin immediately held up his hands, “That was supposed to be a compliment, I promise.” Tyler lightly shook his head and laughed, “It’s alright.”

Gavin sighed a breath of relief, then once again turned to Tyler, “So, what are you majoring in?” Tyler picked at his nails while he responded, “Well, right now I’m majoring in communications because I don’t actually know what I want to do.” Gavin chuckled, “No, I get it. Did your parents make you immediately start after high school?” Tyler shook his head, “No. I’m here on a basketball scholarship actually.” Gavin smiled, genuinely looking interested, “That’s cool! I played football in high school, but I was definitely ready to be done with it, so kudos to you for staying dedicated.” Tyler nodded and gave a small ‘thanks’, “What are you majoring in?” Gavin smiled widely, “Law enforcement. I’m studying to become a police officer. I feel like my purpose is to help people, so I’m really excited to have found a job where I can do that.” 

Tyler shyly smiled, “I want to help people too, but I don’t think I would be able to meet all of the physical requirements for that. Besides, if some criminal walked up and started yelling at me, I would probably end up just asking really nicely for them to leave.” Gavin laughed loudly, “Yeah, I don’t think that would work.” 

Their conversation was cut short by the professor making his way to the front of the room and announcing the beginning of class. Tyler took notes to the best of his ability, still daydreaming a little too much to pay attention completely. By the time the class was over, Tyler was ready to leave. He closed his laptop, stood up, and pulled his backpack over his shoulder. He was about to leave the room when Gavin caught his attention. “Hey, Tyler! Do you have lunch right now?” Tyler nodded his head. He was hungry and ready to go to the cafeteria. “Oh cool, so do I. Do you want to go together?” Tyler nodded, his anxiety celebrating in the back of his mind that he did not have to sit alone, “Yeah, that sounds good.” 

Thankfully Tyler’s scholarship included a meal plan so he would not have to pay for his lunch everyday. They walked together the entire way there, then got in line together at a station serving cut up pieces of steak, vegetables, and white rice. They each filled a cup with water, then found a table to sit at. Tyler placed his backpack on the chair next to him, then sat down. Gavin sat down across from him, then stared down at his lunch. “I hope this tastes better than it looks.” Tyler laughed because he was not wrong. The vegetables did not appear to be all the way cooked, the rice looked crunchy and the steak had a little too much fat for his liking. Tyler put a piece of broccoli in his mouth and quickly realized that he was right and it was not cooked all the way. Gavin’s facial expression showed that he had the same problem. Tyler looked up at him, “Well, it’s not awful.” Gavin chuckled, “It’s just not good.” He drank some of his water, then set his fork down. 

“So, how are you liking college so far?” Gavin smiled, “Well, I’ll give the food a solid D+ and I’ll give the classes a C-, so...it’s going.” Tyler laughed, “Yeah, I’ll agree with that.” Gavin wiped his face with a napkin then smiled. “Are you from here?” Tyler shook his head, “No, I’m from Columbus, Ohio, so it’s not super far away and the weather’s basically the same but it feels different than home.” Gavin nodded, “I’ve lived here my entire life, so I’m used to it. I’m just staying at my parents house because it’s literally like fifteen minutes from here, so I’m happy that I don’t have to pay the crazy amount to live in a dorm. I also don’t know if I could handle living with someone I just met. Do you like your roommate?” 

Tyler chuckled, “Well I don’t even stay in my dorm, because I rent an apartment like ten minutes away. And my roommate is my boyfriend, so yeah, I’d say I like him.” Gavin laughed, “Well you didn’t have to be a smartass about it.” Tyler laughed along, just relieved that Gavin was fine with the fact that he had a boyfriend, “Sorry.” Gavin just shook his head, “Which apartment building is it?” Tyler thought for a moment, “Uhh I think it’s called Timberland? I don’t know. It’s timber-something.” Gavin pointed at him excitedly, “I know exactly where you’re talking about! I pass it on my way here everyday. Dude, we should start carpooling! I’m trying to save the environment and the less carbon emissions there are, the better.” 

Tyler made a slightly uncomfortable face, and Gavin noticed so he was quick to add, “But if you don’t want to, that’s totally cool.” Tyler sighed, “No, it’s not that. I’d be cool with it but I just- I can’t drive.” Gavin visibly relaxed, “Oh, well that’s fine. I can be the driver everyday, it’s cool.” Tyler looked at him feeling guilty, “You don’t have to do that.” Gavin shook his head, “No, I want to. Like I said, I’m trying to save the planet.” 

There was a moment of silence before Gavin asked, “So, did you just never learn how to drive.” Tyler continued to pick at his food as he answered, “I know how to drive, I’m just not legally allowed to.” Gavin looked confused so Tyler continued, “I have seizures a lot, and I don’t meet the legal time requirements of not having them, so my license got suspended.” 

Gavin looked at him with sympathy, “Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry.” Tyler shook his head, “It’s not a huge deal. I don’t have the big ones very often. It’s mostly just because I have absence seizures so frequently. And those only last a couple of seconds, so unless you know what you’re looking for you wouldn’t even notice.” Gavin nodded, “That still doesn’t seem like very much fun.” Tyler shrugged, “I’m on medication for it and it’s manageable. It could be a lot worse.” Gavin smiled, “That’s a good perspective to have.” Gavin thought for a moment before he added, “So do you just Uber everywhere then?” Tyler couldn’t help when he laughed, “My boyfriend drops me off and picks me up everyday. And there’s really nowhere else I go besides here and our apartment.” 

Gavin nodded as he put the pieces together, “So he doesn’t go here?” Tyler shook his head, “No, he’s taking some time off for some personal stuff, so right now he’s working at a local coffee shop.”   
“And that lines up with your hours here?” Tyler made a face, “Some days yes, perfectly, mostly days I have basketball practice. But days like today where I only have two classes, I get dropped off at 8:00 because he has to be at work by 8:30a.m. and just hang out in the library until class starts. And he gets off work at 2:00p.m. so I hangout and get my work done until he can pick me up.” 

Gavin looked at him shocked, “So you’re just sitting here for no reason for-” he took a second to do the math in his head, “like three hours?” Tyler made a face but nodded. Gavin shook his head, “That sounds awful. I can definitely pick you up and take you home on those days.” Tyler smiled, “Thanks.” Gavin widened his eyes, “No, I’m serious, do you want a ride home today?’’ Tyler looked at him to make sure he was not joking then said, “Well if you’re offering, then sure.” 

Gavin nodded, “Okay, I’ll meet you back here after my next class.” Tyler smiled, “Sounds good, thanks.” 

. . . . .

Josh walked into the coffee shop where he worked at exactly 8:27a.m. He walked into the back and checked in with the manager of his shift. “Hey, Josh. Thanks for being early. Today it is just us and Maria working.” Josh nodded, then went to wash his hands. He walked out to stand behind the counter next to Maria. She stood only about 5’3” with soft shoulder length brown hair and bright green eyes. She smiled shyly at him when he walked out. Josh returned the smile then looked out at the empty room full of tables. It was not very busy the first hour, only a couple of people filling the seats. By 11:00a.m. most of the seats were full. Josh looked up when a customer walked up to the counter. “Hello, what can I get for you?” It was a woman who could not have been any older than twenty five, with bright red streaked brown hair in a messy ponytail. “Hi, can I have a large unsweetened iced tea please.” Josh nodded as he entered the drink into the cash register. 

He grabbed a plastic cup from next to him, “Can I have a name for your order please.”   
“Hunter.” Josh nodded as he quickly scribbled the name onto the cup and handed it to Maria to make. “That will be $3.09 please.” She handed him a five, and waited for her change. Josh handed her her change and her receipt, “We’ll bring it out shortly.” She genuinely smiled at him, then replied, “Thanks.” Josh smiled back then went to help Maria. She was almost finished making the drink when he walked up to her. He then offered to deliver it for her, knowing how shy she was. She gladly handed over the drink, then he made his way back to the customer that ordered it. 

Josh walked up to her table, and set the drink down. “Thank you,” she said looking up from her laptop. Josh smiled, “You’re welcome. Let me know if I can get you anything else.” She thanked him, then he walked back to the counter so he could take orders if anyone new walked in. 

It was slow from that point forward, and Josh was very thankful when 12:00p.m. rolled around and he could take his break. He quickly made himself a turkey lettuce wrap in the back, then walked to take a seat at one of the tables in the front. He sat down and pulled his phone out, then quickly took a picture of his lunch and sent it to Tyler. He was watching the screen, waiting for the response, when someone sat down across from him. He looked up and met eyes with the girl he served earlier. She stuck out her hand, “Hi, I’m Hunter. You made me an iced tea earlier. You seem like a cool guy so I came to investigate.” Josh could not help when he laughed. He shook her outstretched hand, “I’m Josh.” She nodded her head, “Seems fitting. I like your hair.” Josh smiled, “Thanks.” He was still rocking blue hair, but it was pretty faded and he definitely needed to redye it. 

She studied his face, “I initially thought artist, but now I’m going to go with musician.” She reached forward and grabbed one of Josh’s hands, startling him. That girl did not know what personal space was. She looked at his fingertips, then the sides of his fingers, “So, are you a drummer or a singer..or both?” She looked at him curiously. He was honestly a little freaked out, “I-uh I can play the drums.” She squinted her eyes at him, “But you don’t anymore.” Josh’s eyes widened. If somebody walked up to him and said that girl could read minds, he would have believed them. “Uh, no. I moved into an apartment and the neighbors wouldn’t like it.” She nodded after a moment, “I can respect that.” 

Josh nodded but looked nervously at her. “You’re new here, but I’m here everyday. I’m an artist. I design websites for companies, so I work wherever. I just like it here.” Josh nodded again, still unsure with the person in front of him. 

“You’re looking for a friend, I can tell. I’ll fill that role for you, you seem cool.” She then picked up Josh’s phone that was still open on his conversation with Tyler, and Josh just stared trying to decide if it was actually happening or not. She opened his contacts and added herself to the list, then sent a quick message so she would have his number too. She handed Josh his phone back, then smiled at him. 

Once Josh got over the initial shock of meeting the loud personality that was Hunter, they started talking and realized how much they actually enjoyed each other’s presence. Josh was actually upset when his break was over and their conversation had to end. Josh was about to stand up from the table when his phone vibrated. He looked down at the message. 

NEW MESSAGE: Tyler Joseph: Looks delicious hope it was! Also I’m getting a ride home from someone in my class so you don’t have to worry about picking me up. See you at home

Josh quickly responded to the message then looked up at Hunter, “I get off work at 2:00p.m. if you’re sticking around. She looked up at him, then nodded and replied dramatically, “Okay, I guess I’ll finish our conversation from earlier.” Josh laughed, then walked back to behind the counter.

The rest of Josh’s shift went by fast and he was excited to continue talking to Hunter. 2:00p.m. finally hit, and he walked right over to the table Hunter was sitting at and sat down. She looked up and smiled when she saw him. The first thing out of her mouth was, “Do you like dogs?” Josh laughed, “Yeah, I like dogs.” She nodded, then pulled out her phone. She turned it around to show Josh the picture of a yellow lab she had pulled up from her camera roll, “This is my dog Layla. She’s pregnant and I’m looking for people who would be interested in adopting a puppy.” Josh stared at the picture of the dog, “I’d love to adopt a puppy but maybe you forgot that I work at a coffee shop and have no money.” She laughed at him, “I said adopt for a reason. I’m giving them away for free. I can not financially support that many dogs.” 

Josh looked surprised, “Oh, well then yeah, I’d love to. My boyfriend has some problems with anxiety and we’ve talked before about getting a dog and having it trained to be an emotional support animal.” Hunter pointed at him, “Just for the record I was like 99% sure that you’re gay, but I didn’t want to offend you or anything. But yeah, that sounds like a great idea. You should so surprise him with a puppy.” Josh rolled his eyes but laughed. 

He looked down at his watch, then looked up at Hunter, “I should probably head home.” Hunter sighed but nodded, “Okay, I’ll text you more information about the dogs later.” Josh nodded and smiled, “Okay, see you later.” Hunter held up a peace sign as Josh walked out of the coffee shop, and he chuckled all the way to his car. 

Josh got in his car and drove all the way back to their apartment in about twenty minutes. He unlocked the front door, then walked inside. He smiled when Tyler jumped up from the couch to greet him. Josh tried to kick his shoes off, but Tyler grabbed his face to kiss him, nearly making his fall over. Josh laughed into the kiss, “It’s good to see you, too.” 

. . . . .

Tyler and Josh were sitting at their small kitchen table eating salads for dinner. “So, this guy named Gavin came up to me in my english class and we started talking, then we had lunch together and talked some more. It turns out that he lives really close to here, and he’s trying to save the planet apparently. Anyway, he offered to drive me to the university and take me home on days that I don’t have basketball, so I don’t have to sit at the school so long.” Josh nodded, “That’s great. He seems nice.” Tyler nodded, “Yeah, he is.” Josh smiled uncomfortable. “How was work?” Josh glanced up, “There wasn’t a lot going on today. Although I started talking to this girl who’s there everyday and she seems really nice.” Tyler happily smiled at him, “See, you’ll enjoy going to work more now that you have a friend there. How long has she been working there?” 

Josh chose not to correct him, deciding that he wanted to eliminate all possible reasons why Tyler would find out about the puppy, “Oh, uh, awhile. I’m not really sure on the exact amount.” Tyler just smiled, “Well, that’s great. I’m proud of you.” Josh smiled back but he felt guilty. He reminded himself that he was not lying, he was just bending the truth. And that if he really wanted to surprise Tyler with a puppy then he did not want to accidentally say anything that would spoil the surprise. 

After dinner they settled down on the couch together for what was becoming a routinely movie night. They ended up just watching reruns of ‘Friends’ and after the fourth episode Josh stood up, “I’m going to go take a shower.” Tyler mumbled out ‘okay’ as he continued to stare at the tv. About five minutes had passed when Josh’s phone vibrated on the couch next to him. Tyler ignored it at first, but once it vibrated for the second time two minutes later, his curiosity got the best of him. He picked up the phone.

TWO NEW MESSAGES:

Hunter: I thought you said you were going to text me later

Hunter: Hello? Earth to Josh where are you? 

Tyler stared at the phone screen, quickly running through a list of every single guy he has ever met named ‘Hunter’. Once he realized the number of guys on his list was ‘zero’ he felt panic course through him. 

He heard the bathroom door open and practically threw the phone back to where it was and glued his eyes to the tv. Tyler’s heartbeat started pulsing in his ears as Josh approached him and sat back down on the couch. Josh looked at the messages on his phone before clicking the screen off and setting it next to him. He turned to face Tyler and immediately noticed that something was wrong. “Ty, you okay?” Tyler frantically nodded his head, but Josh saw right through him and brought a hand up to rub his boyfriend’s back. 

Josh spoke softly, “You’re okay. Breathe.” Tyler let out a shuddering breath. He was not okay, because there was only one word bouncing around in his head:

Hunter. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK!!


	4. How It Seemed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a terrible person. I'm so sorry for making you wait so long for a chapter. Ugh. 
> 
> With everything going on lately it's been difficult to write. So today I wrote this while watching Harry Potter movies because that was apparently the right balance of focusing on things for me to be able to not get distracted. 
> 
> I'm also writing four stories at once because I have absolutely zero self control and that's probably part of the problem. Although I've got a good one in the works right now, and I'll probably start publishing it after this one's finished or almost finished. 
> 
> On a happier note, I officially hit ONE WHOLE FLIPPING YEAR SELF HARM FREE!!!!!! So, let's celebrate. 
> 
> And lastly, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH to all of you lovely people. I couldn't do it without you. 
> 
> Happy reading, things are about to get messy,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the chapter summary

Tyler once again walked into the large gym, this time praying that everything would go as planned. With his backpack over one shoulder, he made his way over to where Coach John was sitting. He looked up when Tyler approached and immediately set down the clipboard he was holding, then stood up. “How are you feeling? You really scared us last practice.” Tyler sighed, “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m doing good now.” John shook his head, “Don’t apologize, really.” Tyler nodded, “I actually wanted to give a little I guess speech today to everyone if that’s alright.” John nodded instantly, “Of course. As soon as everyone arrives, we’ll do that.” 

About ten minutes later the rest of the team arrived and Coach John called everyone over for a team meeting. Once everyone was in the same general area, he spoke, “Now before we get started, Tyler wants to speak a little.” Coach John then turned to face Tyler, the rest of the team doing the same. Tyler was a little freaked out at first, not expecting to become the center of attention so quickly, but he got himself together and took a deep breath.

“Yeah, uh. So I know that our last practice didn’t exactly end very well and I guess I sorta just wanted to address that a little.” 

Tyler’s face continuously turned more and more pink as he spoke, letting the embarrassment set in. He cleared his throat.

“So I have a disorder that causes seizures among some other things,” he trailed off. “I don’t have the big ones very often; last practice was actually the first big one I’ve had in four months. I do have small seizures pretty frequently, although they only last a couple of seconds, and if you don’t know what you’re looking for you’ll probably miss it.”

Tyler had everyone’s full attention as he spoke, “I wanted to address this in case it happens again. As much as I’d like to say that it won’t happen again; if I’m being realistic, at some point it will.” 

Tyler felt a little nauseous as he spoke, “So I guess I just wanted to tell you what to do in that situation.” Tyler could have died from embarrassment right then and there. 

“I was told that the seizure I had here last week was over five minutes, so calling an ambulance was the right thing to do. I also had another one at the hospital so going there was necessary.” 

Tyler glanced around at all of his teammates who were actively listening. “Anything under five minutes is safe, and an ambulance isn’t necessary. If someone calls my boyfriend then he’ll come pick me up and take care of everything.” 

Coach John spoke up from beside Tyler, “Is there anything specific that we would need to do during the seizure?” Despite the question holding nothing but sincere concern, Tyler grimaced. “Uhh, moving away anything that I could hurt myself on is really helpful. And uh, it’s better if I’m on my side so I don’t like choke on my saliva or uh throw up or anything.” 

Coach John nodded his head, “Okay, thank you for letting us know.” Tyler awkwardly gave him a nod. John looked up to the rest of the team, “If you have any questions or concerns, now is the time to ask.” 

One of the guys across from them (Tyler had not learned everyone’s names yet) half raised his hand. Coach John nodded at him, then he cleared his throat. “You said earlier that the disorder you have causes seizures and some other things. Can you elaborate a little bit on that so there aren’t any more surprises?” 

Tyler’s eyes widened, and he scratched the back of his neck, “Oh uhh, it’s just some personal stuff. It’s not important; I can one hundred percent handle it by myself.” Tyler’s face turned beet red. 

Another guy close by spoke, “What disorder do you have, if you don’t mind me asking?” Tyler huffed, but answered anyway regardless of how invasive and somewhat rude the question was. “I have Multiple Sclerosis. It’s a nerve disorder. Google it if you want; it’s not exactly glamorous.” 

Coach John smiled, “Okay, thank you Tyler. Now everyone, go warm up; we’re going to work on drills today.

° • ° 

Josh immediately made his way over to the table Hunter was sitting at once it was time for his break. She glanced up and smiled when she saw him, then closed her laptop. They had practically been texting nonstop since they met, and both felt as if they had known each other for years. “I have a new update for you,” Hunter said, waiting for Josh to nod his head. “After a long night of researching online, I think the puppies will be here sometime next week.” Josh smiled, “That’s great! I’m excited.” Hunter looked at him anxiously, “I’m a little nervous honestly. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever helped deliver puppies before. I just don’t want anything to go wrong.” 

“I’d love to help if you’d like me to.” Hunter looked at him hopefully, “Really? You would do that?” Josh smiled sincerely at her, “Of course I would. It doesn’t matter what time it is, call me and I’ll be there.” Hunter looked beyond relieved, “Thanks, Josh.” 

After all of that was over with, they talked more freely about other topics, and Josh was glad that Hunter was back to her normal spunky self. Although their conversation did not get to last forever because Josh had to get back to work and Hunter had to get home and check on her dog. 

Josh spent those next couple of hours taking orders, delivering to tables, and talking to his coworkers. At the very end of his shift, his manager pulled him aside. Josh was immediately assuming the worst, “Is something wrong.” She shook her head and waved her hands, “No, of course not. You do a wonderful job and we’re all happy to have you here.” Josh breathed out a sigh of relief before she continued. “I actually wanted to ask you a small favor.” Josh nodded, already mentally agreeing to do whatever she asked of him. 

“Well, do you see that girl at the table over there?” He followed the direction of her finger and was met with a skinny blonde girl around his age, maybe a little older. “Her name is Lilly. She normally works the same shift as you, but she’s been sick the last couple days and is working the later shift today now that she’s feeling better. Anyway, I was wondering if you could introduce yourself and talk a little with her, because I really think she could use a friend.” 

“Yeah, of course. No problem.” She nodded in a thankful manor, “Thanks, Josh. Go ahead, take two cookies over there, on the house.” Josh nodded in appreciation, then was on his way over to the table with two plates, each holding a large chocolate chip cookie, in his hands. 

He awkwardly sat down at the table, and set the plates down. The girl looked up at him startled, with large brown eyes. “Hey, I’m Josh. I just started working here and I wanted to introduce myself.” She relaxed a little, then responded, “I’m Lilly.” 

Josh smiled at her, then passed over the plate and cookie, “This is for you.” She gave a small thanks, but kept her head down. Not knowing what to say next, Josh took a large bite of his own cookie and was met with a wonderful taste. Wanting to keep the conversation going, he added, “So, how long have you been working here?” She once again looked at him with her large eyes, “Four months.” Josh nodded, “That’s cool. I’m just now hitting four days.” 

Lilly looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her, and Josh was not sure what to do to fix that. He cleared his throat, “Are you in College?”

“High school.” Josh tried not to let his surprise show; she appeared older than she was. It only took a moment for him to realize that was in fact why she looked so miserable. “Well, if you need to hear it, I promise it gets better after high school.” She offered him a small smile which he gladly returned. He glanced down at her plate which held her untouched cookie, as opposed to his own that was almost entirely gone. “I also promise that that cookie will make your day better.” 

She glanced down at her plate and mumbled that she was okay, however that did not stop Josh from trying to convince her. “No, I swear, it is amazing. I’m not even a big fan of cookies but it is so good.” He brought the remainder of his cookie up to his mouth as he continued talking, “Just taste it you won’t regret it, I-” Lilly cut him off as she spit out, “Do you know how many calories are in that?!” Josh’s entire body froze as the sentence bounced around in his head. 

Lilly’s face fell as she realized what she said, “I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I-” Josh shook his head and slowly set down the rest of his cookie, “It’s okay.” He slowly wiped his hands on his jeans and swallowed hard. “I...It was nice meeting you.” Lilly looked sadly at him as he stood up and walked out of the coffee shop, all the way to his car. He then got inside, and started driving. 

Josh drove back to the apartment with his brain on autopilot. By the time he pulled into his parking space, he had no idea how he made it there. He made his way to the door marked 8C and let himself in with his key. From there he sat on the couch and turned the tv on. However, it did not last long until he was pacing the room. And before he knew it, he was in the bathroom kneeling in front of the toilet with his fingers down his throat, only realizing what he had done once it was too late. 

After getting over the initial shock that he did in fact, for the first time, relapse, there was only one thought going through his mind.

Tyler could NOT find out. 

° • °

Towards the end of practice, Tyler went around giving everyone Josh’s contact information, and tried not to become embarrassed (yet somewhat prideful) over the fact that about half of his teammates saved Josh’s number in their phones under “Tyler’s boyfriend”. 

Coach John walked over towards the group, “Good practice today everyone. Now I want every one of you to continue with getting to know each other and building relationships. I want all of you tonight to have dinner together and really talk. It doesn’t matter where, just work with each other and don’t get into any trouble. Now, go hit the showers and be on your way.”

They all hesitantly walked into the locker room, not exactly sure how their nights were going to be. One of the older members of the team (Tyler was ninety percent sure his name was Aiden), who was playing his fourth and final year on the team cleared his throat, “We can hang out at my place and order something.” 

Tyler made his way over to where his backpack was sitting on a bench, trying to plan out his best course of action for showering. Sighing in defeat, he grabbed a towel and started to undress, praying that nobody’s eyes were focused on him. He was also particularly grateful that none of his teammates were weirded out or concerned about his own eyes focused on them. 

Once he had completely undressed, he grabbed a towel and made his way towards the showers. There were a couple other guys showering, when he walked in, and most of them did not even glace over at the entrance when he entered. Tyler took the world’s fastest shower, and then was back by his backpack. After deciding that he wanted to save himself some grief, he grabbed his entire backpack and walked towards one of the bathroom stalls to get dressed. He closed and locked the door, then died off completely with his towel. He unzipped his backpack and pulled out a t-shirt and jeans, followed by a clean diaper. He would cross that bridge later.

Tyler quickly got dressed, then exited the stall and made his way towards where his shoes were. After he put on his shoes, and threw his towel in the dirty hamper basket, he walked out of the locker room where most of his team was waiting. 

Not long after that, Tyler was in the backseat of one of his teammates' cars, driving to Aidens house for dinner. He sent Josh a quick text explaining his situation, then threw his phone into his backpack.

° • °

Josh was still pacing around the room when his phone dinged, scaring him in the process. Hesitantly, he walked over and picked it up.

ONE NEW MESSAGE: Tyler Joseph: Hey I’m doing more team bonding stuff so you don’t have to pick me up until later

Josh quickly responded, already feeling unbelievably guilty about his relapse. He was about to set his phone back down and nearly screamed when it started ringing. He was extremely on edge. Hunter’s name flashed across the screen, so he accepted the call and held his phone up to his ear. “Hello?” 

“Josh! Hi, uh is now a bad time?” Josh sat down on the couch after hearing the distress in her voice. “No, not at all. Is something wrong?” Hunter let out a shaky breath, “I got home and found Layla acting weird. I thought that maybe she was sick, but she’s in labor. The puppies are coming tonight and I don’t think I can do this by myself.” 

Josh stood up to put his shoes on, “Okay, just take a deep breath. Text me your address; I’m on my way.” He grabbed his keys and his wallet, then was out the door heading towards his car, thankful for the much needed distraction. 

° • °

Tyler was awkwardly sitting on one of the couches in Aidens house, not entirely sure what else to do. His teammate, Dylan, who was also technically his roommate, plopped down on the couch next to him. Dylan offered a small smile, “I went and talked to the people in charge of assigning the dorms after a week passed and my roommate never showed up, and they told me that you’re my roommate.” 

Tyler must have had an uncomfortable look on his face because Dylan continued, “I think you mentioned it last week. You live with your boyfriend off campus, right?” He waited for Tyler to nod before finishing, “Well I just wanted to let you know that you’re welcome at our dorm anytime. I know that it’s technically yours too anyway, but I just wanted to make sure that you know you’re welcome.” 

Tyler chuckled, “Thanks. I was going to talk to you about it last week, but you know,” he trailed off. Dylan nodded.

They both looked up when someone approached them with two red solo cups in their hands, “Do you guys want a drink?” Dylan nodded and took the cup from him. Tyler took note of the foam creating a layer over the top of the liquid. He shook his head, “No thanks, I’m alright.” 

The guy with the drinks walked away, then Dylan turned to face Tyler. “Not much of a party animal are you?” Tyler chuckled, “I don’t drink.” 

Throughout the night Tyler learned that Aiden actually owned the house. He also learned that Aiden had taken two gap years after high school and was actually twenty four years old, which made all of the alcohol in his house legal (for his consumption at least). Tyler also exchanged phone numbers with Dylan for any roommate purposes that could come up.

They ordered cheap pizza for dinner, but Tyler was not the one paying for it so he was not going to complain. He also had a solo cup filled with beer on the coffee table in front of him since Aiden insisted, but he was yet to actually drink it. 

Tyler sat and talked to Dylan for most of the night, finding out just how well they actually got along. Around 8:00 p.m. Tyler pulled his phone out to text Josh and give him a general timeframe of when to pick him up, but found that he already had a message. 

ONE NEW MESSAGE: Josh Dun: Hey Ty, I’m going over to a friends house. Can one of your teammates give you a ride home? 

Tyler tried to ignore the stabbing feeling in his heart as he read over the message again and again. Without thinking, he reached forward and brought the red cup to his lips then took a big chug. Dylan looked at him with a surprised facial expression, “I thought you said you didn’t drink.” Tyler made a face at the taste of the liquid, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “I changed my mind.” 

° • °

Josh knocked on the door three times after he parked his car in the driveway, absentmindedly fidgeting as he waited. A few seconds later a very flustered looking Hunter opened the door. She looked extremely relieved to see Josh, “Come in, thank you!” 

Josh followed her through the doorway and into the first room on the right. A large yellow lab was laying on top of a sheet, panting. Josh followed her over to the dog, and copied her action of sitting down on the floor. 

He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Tyler asking if he would be able to find another ride home, then gave his full attention to Hunter and Layla. 

•

Now before that day Josh would not consider himself to be great at anything even remotely medical related, but after helping deliver eight beautiful puppies he’d consider himself an expert. He had already picked out the puppy he wanted. It was one of the males, and a little smaller than the rest of the litter.

Josh and Hunter were sitting around Layla and the puppies on the floor. It was such a peaceful atmosphere that Josh had almost completely forgotten about relapsing earlier that day. “Thank you so much for coming over and helping out tonight.” Josh smiled at her, “Yeah, anytime.” Josh glanced up at the wall and came across the large clock that read 10:24 p.m. 

His eyes widened as he started to stand up, “Is that clock right?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry, Hunter. I’ve gotta go. My boyfriend’s probably home by now and he really isn’t supposed to be by himself.” Hunter nodded, “Of course. Thank you, again. I’ll see you tomorrow at the coffee shop.” Josh smiled, “See you tomorrow.” 

Josh got into his car and drove as quickly and as safely as he could to their apartment. 

° • °

Around 9:45 p.m. Dylan gave Tyler a ride back to his apartment after reassuring him that he drank frequently enough that the alcohol he drank was not affecting him and he could efficiently and safely drive a car. 

Tyler let himself into their apartment and dropped his backpack on the floor, then flopped down onto the couch. He did not turn on the tv or pull out his phone. He simply stared at the ceiling while going through his thoughts until the front door opened. He had no idea how much time had passed, but he got off of the couch to greet Josh at the door. Josh walked forward to kiss his forehead after taking his shoes off, “How long have you been home?” Tyler shrugged, not necessarily wanting to speak. 

Josh didn’t notice. He then threw his wallet, keys, and phone onto the couch, then walked past Tyler towards their bathroom, “I’m going to take a quick shower, then we can watch a movie or something.” Tyler watched as Josh disappeared into the bathroom, then he sadly sat down on the couch. He continued on with his staring until he heard Josh’s phone buzz next to him on the couch. He glanced over almost emotionlessly at the messages. 

ONE NEW MESSAGE: Hunter Scube: Thanks again for coming over tonight. It would have been a very long and painful process if you didn’t help me. And now you know there’s a cute face waiting for you everytime you come over :)

Tyler’s eyes welled with tears and he threw the phone away from him as if it were hot metal. Not even a second later the bathroom door opened. Tyler wiped the tears off of his face and plastered on a smile. Josh plopped down next to him on the couch, then pulled Tyler closer to him. 

Tyler soaked in the warmth radiating off of Josh and prayed to God that he was wrong; that it wasn't how it seemed. Although the more Tyler thought about it, the more he realized that there was no other explanation; it was exactly how it seemed. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comments, subscribe, share! 
> 
> The next couple chapters are going to be crazy!


	5. Nancy No Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read the notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:   
> I'm really sorry it's been so long since the last update. I'm going through some family stuff right now that has really been taking a toll on my emotional well being. One of my relatives is quite literally waiting to die, and we have to put my dog down soon. Its just really hard. Over the past month everything felt too heavy to be able to sit down and write, and when I laid down at night (which is when I normally write) I have been so emotionally exhausted that all I have wanted to do is sleep. I'm really trying to push forward, and I did enjoy writing this today; it was a great distraction. However, please don't be angry if future updates are a little spaced out too, because I am focusing on myself right now.
> 
> I have come to the realization that this is my story and I don't owe anyone anything, so if I wait a month to update that is perfectly okay because I control this story; it is mine. Right now, focusing on my mental health and preventing myself from slipping into old habits is more important to me than updating this once a week. 
> 
> I'm sorry for any inconveniences. 
> 
> (On the plus side a new completed Joshler short story will be up sometime this week (probably) because it is what I have pulled out of what I'm going through and it's helping me grieve. So look out for that) 
> 
> And PLEASE comments are pretty essential right now <3

Josh woke up to find Tyler’s side of the bed empty. He listened for a moment until he heard the shower running in the bathroom, then closed his eyes again and moved further into his pillow. 

The second time he opened his eyes he heard the sound of plates clicking together in the kitchen. After rubbing his eyes he stood up and made his way out of the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen and found Tyler fully dressed and standing in front of the stove, cooking scrambled eggs. He thought it was odd that Tyler hadn’t woken him up earlier. 

Josh walked over to Tyler and wrapped his arms around his torso, then leaned forward and kissed his cheek, “Good morning.” Tyler forced a smile in his direction but his heart was still in pain. Sensing the tension, Josh moved to get a better look at Tyler’s face, “Are you alright?” Tyler nodded and looked at his feet, “I’m just a little nauseous today.” Josh nodded. It was a believable excuse; it made sense. 

Josh sat down at their kitchen table while Tyler finished cooking their breakfast. He fidgeted with his fingers until Tyler set a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him. He offered a small smile as Tyler sat down across from him. 

Neither of them cleared their plates, merely picking at their food. Josh, because Lilly’s words from the day before were still in the back of his mind and Tyler, because he really did feel sick due to the whole situation with Josh and the man who kept texting him; it wasn’t a complete lie. 

Josh cleared his throat, “Are you ready to leave?” Tyler looked up at him hesitantly, “Oh uh, Gavin is giving me a ride today.” Josh tried to hide the hurt of his face, “Oh, okay. Well I’ll see you tonight.” Tyler nodded then stood up to leave. 

He took his medications, and grabbed his backpack, then walked out of the apartment. It was not that he was avoiding Josh per se; it just hurt him too much to look at Josh with so much running through his mind.   
. . .

Tyler stood outside on the sidewalk with his backpack thrown over one shoulder as he waited for Gavin. A small red car started to approach him and panic started to form in his chest until he saw a smiling Gavin behind the wheel. The car stopped a few feet away and Tyler wasted no time in getting in. 

“Hey, Tyler!” Gavin happily said as he entered the car. Tyler smiled at him, “Hi.” 

Once Tyler closed his door and put his seatbelt on, they were on their way to the university. 

. . .

After the longest English class ever, Tyler and Gavin were sitting across from each other in the cafeteria having lunch. Tyler was moving his food around with his fork, still not entirely hungry with so much on his mind. Gavin was watching him, trying to figure out a way to start a conversation. Every so often Tyler would freeze and then after a few seconds he would continue to play with his food. 

For probably the fourth time, Tyler’s hand froze, but this time his head slowly looked up. Gavin gave him a strange look because he appeared to be staring right through him. 

“Tyler?” Gavin asked, bringing a hand up to wave in front of his face. They made eye contact and Tyler looked at him confused. 

“What?” 

Gavin raised his eyebrows, “You totally zoned out.” Tyler groaned, then continued, “You know how I told you that I have seizures?” He waited for Gavin to nod, then pointed to himself, “Well this is what they look like.” 

Gavin looked at him alarmed, “Do you need me to take you home?” Tyler chuckled and shook his head, “I’m alright.” 

Tyler's eyes glossed over again and his face drooped. “Tyler,” Gavin said, trying to snap him out of it. Tyler jumped, nearly falling off of his chair, and Gavin moved his arms out instinctively. He waited for Tyler to look at him before he overly emphasized, “Are you sure?” 

Tyler nodded, then propped his head up on his arms, “I’m just really stressed out right now, and that causes me to have more of them.” Gavin looked at him sympathetically, “Anything I can do to help?” Tyler sadly smiled and shook his head, as he looked down at the table. 

“No, seriously. How can I help?” Tyler sat up straight with his back against the chair, and looked Gavin in the eyes, “I think Josh is cheating on me.” 

Gavin froze and let his mouth hang open. He was expecting ‘I have a test I’m worried about’, ‘I have some homework I didn’t do’, maybe even a ‘I’m homesick’. What he was most definitely not expecting was what came out of Tyler’s mouth. He quickly composed himself and cleared his throat, “Why do you think that?” 

Tyler sighed, “Recently he’s been going out a lot and I don’t know where he’s been going, and some guy named Hunter keeps texting him, and I can just tell that he’s keeping secrets from me.” 

Gavin looked at him sadly; those definitely sounded like the characteristics of a cheater. “Well, if he is cheating, Fuck him; he doesn’t deserve you. And if he’s not, then he has an explanation for everything you just said, and you guys are going to be alright.” Tyler nodded and smiled, but he felt like he was going to cry...again.   
Gavin noticed the look on his face, then stood up, “Come on, we’re leaving.” Tyler looked at him confused, “We have class.” Gavin rolled his eyes, “You say that like they’re teaching us stuff that’s actually useful to know. Let’s go, I’m taking you somewhere to clear your head.” 

Tyler looked at him skeptically, but grabbed his backpack and followed Gavin out of the building. 

They drove for about twenty minutes, the whole time Tyler repeating the question ‘where are we even going’ and Gavin telling him ‘you’ll see when we get there’. 

Eventually they pulled up into the parking lot of a beach. Tyler looked over at Gavin hesitantly. “This is where I’ve always come to clear my head growing up. I promise it works.” Tyler left his backpack on the seat, and followed Gavin onto the beach. There were a couple of families there, all with toddlers who were too young to be in school. 

They walked along the shoreline for a while, carrying their shoes, taking in the sun. Tyler still had a couple more absence seizures while they were there, but thankfully he was feeling better than earlier. There was a light breeze along with the coolness of the water, that Tyler had to admit was pretty relaxing. Once an hour hit, they sat down in the sand, making sure they were far enough away from the water that it would not get their clothes wet. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Gavin asked sincerely. Tyler nodded as he looked up at the clouds, “Yeah. Thanks for bringing me here.” Gavin smiled and moved a hand to shake Tyler’s shoulder, “Anytime.” 

They sat in silence for a little bit after that, watching different people run back and forth between the land and the water. Tyler smiled as he watched a young girl and her mother stand in the water and try to jump over the waves as they rolled in. “I remember doing that as a kid.” Gavin followed his gaze to the family and smiled with him. He stood up, took his shirt off, and extended a hand to Tyler. Tyler looked at him confused. “There’s no rule that says you can’t relive childhood memories as a college student. It will be fun, get up.” 

Tyler shook his head, “I don’t want to get my clothes wet.” Gavin glared at him unamused, “Then take your clothes off. Come on, quit being a Nancy no fun.” Tyler looked at him with wide eyes, “There are other people here.” Gavin laughed loudly, “I didn’t say we should go skinny dipping. Just strip down to your underwear; it’s more modest than a speedo anyway.” 

Tyler internally panicked, “I can’t.” Gavin loudly huffed, “Why not? And don’t make up some bullshit reason.” Tyler sighed, trying to contain his embarrassment, “The disorder that I have that causes my seizures interrupts signals sent through my spinal cord to different parts of my body like my brain..and my bladder.” He looked at Gavins face, hoping to see that he would figure it out by himself; no such luck. Tyler’s face burned, “So I have to make accommodations for that...” he trailed off.

He watched Gavin’s face and practically watched as he put the pieces together, “Oh...OH.” After an awkward pause he said, “Then just roll the bottom of your pants up. I’m not gonna let you sit there and make me play in the water by myself,” he then put his shirt back on. Tyler smiled and started to roll up his pant legs as Gavin did the same. He also decided that Gavin is a good friend; he’s a real one. 

They played in the water for what felt like five minutes, but they didn’t get out until their toes were all wrinkled. They also only got a couple odd looks from people throughout the day. They ended up watching the sunset together while they sat on the beach and waited for the bottom of their pants to dry. Tyler felt happy. It was going on 8:00p.m. when they finally decided to leave and Gavin tried not to look embarrassed when Tyler had to grab his backpack out of the car to go to the bathroom before they left. 

They stopped at a McDonald’s after they left since neither of them had dinner, or really lunch for that matter, and ate it in the car. Gavin dropped Tyler off at his apartment a little after 9:00p.m. and was happy with how much better Tyler looked than he had that morning. 

Tyler unlocked the front door with his key and stepped inside. He carefully set his bag down next to the couch, then walked around to look for Josh. He quietly approached their bedroom door when he heard Josh was on the phone with someone. 

“Well if you keep sending me pictures of that cute face everyday, I’m going to want to live at your place,” Josh laughed, and Tyler’s heart sunk. He didn’t want to hear anymore, so he quickly walked back over to the front door and loudly opened and closed it. 

Tyler was out of earshot when Josh finished his phone call. 

“Hey, Tyler just got home, so I’ve gotta go.” He laughed, “And hey, I’m serious! You better not send me any more pictures of those puppies!” He laughed again, “Alright, bye.” 

Josh walked out of the bedroom to greet Tyler, “Hey, Ty. Where have you been? I tried calling you earlier and you never answered.” Tyler replied coldly, “I don’t have to tell you everywhere I go.” Josh looked at him confused, “You’re right, you don’t…?” 

A wave of sadness washed over Tyler and he stood up, “I’m tired; I’m going to bed.” Josh nodded, still a little confused, “Do you want me to come lay down with you?” Tyler shook his head as he made his way into the doorway of their bedroom. He wiped a tear off of his face and closed the door behind him, not giving Josh the opportunity to follow. He walked into the bathroom with more silent tears running down his face, then put his pajamas on and brushed his teeth as fast as he could before he collapsed onto the bed. 

Tyler rolled over and pulled the blankets closer to him. He continued to cry until the emotional pain turned physical and he could feel it in his chest. 

He cried until the exhaustion took over his body. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay alive, please.


	6. No More Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drumroll please, this chapter is finally finished. I'm sorry for such the long wait, I hope this makes up for it. 
> 
> Also this is the longest chapter I have ever written, you're welcome. 
> 
> FEEDBACK PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this. 
> 
> And I am not at all sorry for what is coming next ;)

(I'd maybe recommend rereading the last chapter to freshen up your memory)

Tyler woke up before Josh and did his normal morning routine of taking a shower and getting dressed. However, before he started making breakfast he sent a quick text message to Gavin.

_______________________________________  
Tyler Joseph: Hey, I know you don’t normally give me a ride on basketball days but would you be able to this morning? I’m still having problems with Josh and I don’t really want to see him this morning.  
_______________________________________

It was true. In that moment every time Tyler even thought about Josh he was stuck between wanting to scream at him and cry, asking why he isn’t good enough. Tyler took a deep breath then looked down at his phone when it vibrated in his hand. 

_______________________________________  
ONE NEW MESSAGE: Gavin Rocha: Yeah of course. We can talk about it if you need to.  
_______________________________________

Tyler smiled sadly at his phone. Gavin is a good friend. 

_______________________________________  
Tyler Joseph: Thank you.  
_______________________________________

Tyler set his phone down then stood up and made his way over to the kitchen counter. He picked up an apple and set it down in Josh’s spot on the table along with a chocolate chip granola bar. 

Tyler did not care how angry and upset he was with Josh, he was not going to purposely mess up Josh’s progress after he had come so far. 

Tyler grabbed his bag, skipping breakfast himself, then made his way outside. He was unreasonably nauseous and he was honestly not sure if it was from his medications or the whole Josh situation. 

Tyler walked down the sidewalk then sat down on the curb to wait for Gavin. He passed the time by kicking rocks back and forth between his feet. He looked up when he heard a car approaching then stood up when he saw it was Gavin. He slung his backpack over his shoulder then took a step back so Gavin could pull up. Tyler got in the passenger seat once the car stopped then threw his bag by his feet. Gavin sent a somewhat sad smile his way and let out a breath before he started driving. 

The first couple of minutes driving to the University was silent aside from the light radio music in the background. Tyler felt Gavin glance over at him every so often, but he kept his gaze looking out the window as he sat slumped over in the seat. 

After another couple of minutes Gavin sighed loudly before turning to look over at Tyler, 

“Are you okay?” 

It took Tyler a moment to compose himself after the shock before he could answer. 

“Yeah.” 

Gavin sat silent for a moment before asking again softer that time with sincerity in his voice, “Tyler. Are you okay?” 

Tyler suddenly had a knot in his throat that he could not swallow so he nodded his head instead. Gavin sighed softly, “It was a real offer you know, I’m here if you need to talk about it.” 

Tyler looked down at his lap and angrily shook his head at himself when tears formed in his eyes. Gavin was patient and let Tyler collect himself as they sat in silence. Tyler had not realized it yet, but they were sitting in the parking lot of the University. Gavin would probably end up being late to his class, but he subconsciously decided that Tyler was way more important than anything he would be learning in the school. 

Tyler continued to take shaky breaths as he willed himself not to cry, all while Gavin sat quietly next to him, his presence alone comforting.  
Tyler took a jagged breath, 

“I just keep asking myself why I’m not good enough. Like what did I do wrong that made me not enough.” 

Gavin sighed, “You are enough, okay? Don't question your worth. We can’t control other people's choices so if he decided to go out and cheat then he is the one who isn’t good enough okay. Don’t let him have the control over what you think about yourself. He’s not worth it, okay?” 

Tyler nodded and sadly laughed but immediately had a scowl on his face, the true sign of a breakdown. 

He scrunched his eyebrows together, “It just hurts because we were together for so long and we were fine until one day we weren’t.” He angrily laughed but it turned into a noise somewhere between a sob and a sigh. A tear fell from his eye onto his jeans.

Gavin nodded, “Sometimes it just happens like that.” 

Tyler sadly looked down at his lap and wrung his hands together. Gavin turned to fully face him, “Hey, don’t let that asshole ruin your day.” Tyler nodded again, then wiped his face with both of his hands. 

When he looked up, his eyes found the time on the dashboard, “Oh, crap! We’re late!” Gavin waved him off, “Yeah who cares. We can still ditch if you want to.” Tyler genuinely laughed, “No, I have to go to practice.” 

“Well, if you insist.” 

They got out of the car and walked up to the building together. They walked through the hallways until they reached a point where they would be going in different directions. 

Gavin stopped walking to face Tyler before they parted ways, “Hey, have a good day today.”

Tyler lightly smiled at him, “Thanks.” Gavin nodded, then started walking backwards, “I can give you a ride home tonight if you want me to.” Tyler let out a breath of relief, “That would actually be great.” 

Gavin smiled as he was about to round the corner, “Okay, see you later!” 

Tyler waved then started walking towards the gym. 

It was a short walk down the long hallway and he wished he could have prevented what had happened when he arrived. He opened the heavy metal door and stepped inside, but when the door slammed shut behind him every single person in the gym turned to stare at him. Tyler’s face tinted pink as he walked across the room. Coach John motioned for everyone else to continue what they were doing and the gym slowly increased in volume. 

As he made his way closer to Coach John he was surprised to find that he looked angry. Tyler tried to figure out why he looked so angry as he ran through a list in his head. Eventually it dawned on him: Coach John did not have many rules but one of the most important ones was being on time to practice. 

However once Tyler’s face truly came into view Coach John’s expression shifted. He took in Tyler’s red eyes and nose, the unmistakable sign that he had been crying. 

“I’m really sorry that I’m late.” 

Coach John waved a hand at his statement, “Are you alright?” 

Tyler nodded, “Yeah, of course.” 

Coach John gave him a look that said ‘I don’t believe you’. Tyler sighed, “I had a rough morning.” 

Coach John gave him a sad smile, “Are you sure you feel up to practice today?” Tyler nodded, slightly confused. 

Coach John continued, “Are you sure that is going to be the safest decision?” 

Tyler thought for a moment, trying to figure out what he was talking about when it dawned on him. Coach John thought he meant he had a seizure that morning. 

Tyler did not like using his not so fortunate circumstances as an excuse, but he preferred his Coach thinking he had an unpredictable seizure before practice as opposed to what had actually happened which was him crying over his boyfriend in his friends car in the parking lot. 

“Yeah, I’m okay, really,” Tyler replied. 

Coach John nodded, “Okay, well get out there and join in on warmups.” 

Tyler nodded, then made his way into the locker room to set his bag down and change his clothes. A couple of minutes later he was out on the court, shooting hoops with his teammates. They didn’t do anything overly exciting, just worked on drills and played a few half court games. 

When it was time to leave, Coach John called everyone over for a meeting. 

“I want you all to have dinner together tonight. You are already moving more as a unit on the court because you are getting to know each other. Now, go hit the showers and figure out what the plan is for tonight. Good practice everybody.”

The team walked into the locker room and Aiden spoke up, “We can hang at my place again and order pizzas.” Everyone hummed in approval then went back to whatever they were doing. 

Tyler went through his awkward routine of showering and changing in the bathroom stall, then he was riding in the backseat of one of his teammates' cars, who he still did not know very well at all.

They pulled up to Aidens house and Tyler got out of the car then walked over to Dylan. He was the closest with Dylan out of everyone on the team. Dylan nodded his head at Tyler as a greeting then said in a somewhat sarcastic way, “I can’t believe you just showed up to practice late and got away with it. I guess the coach does pick favorites.” 

“I had a terrible morning and seizures are a valid excuse for not being on time,” Tyler said, his so-called excuse for being late just fell right out of his mouth before he could actually realize that he did not need to lie to Dylan. 

“Oh shit! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick.” 

Tyler sighed, feeling guilty, “I didn’t actually have a seizure this morning.”

Dylan immediately smacked Tyler’s arm, “Okay, you’re a dick! Here I am thinking ‘great I just essentially told his guy he’s a suck up for getting away with not being on time but he had a seizure this morning’ I mean I was joking, but still. Not cool.” 

Tyler looked regretful, “I’m sorry. That’s what Coach John thinks and I don’t want to correct him.” 

They started to walk into Aidens house and Dylan nudged him, “So why were you actually late?” 

Tyler sighed, debating whether or not he wanted to tell the truth, “My boyfriend and I are having issues and I had a small breakdown during the drive to the University.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” 

Tyler plastered a pitiful smile on his face, “It’s fine.”

“You just need to sit and have a beer and forget about him for the next couple of hours,” Dylan said. Tyler nodded, the thought of alcohol making him forget about Josh seemed promising. 

“Come on, let’s go get a cup.” Tyler followed him into the kitchen. 

. . . 

Josh was sitting at the apartment by himself because Tyler was at basketball bonding and he was done working for the day. He pulled out his phone and decided to text Hunter. 

_______________________________________  
Josh Dun: Hey, how would you feel about company?  
_______________________________________

Not even a minute later he got a reply.

_______________________________________  
Hunter Scube: Yes you can come over...and normal people just ask “can I come over” take notes  
_______________________________________

Josh rolled his eyes, but grabbed his keys and was out the door. It did not take him long to arrive at Hunter’s place. He knocked on the door and immediately heard the little squeaks coming from the puppies. 

Hunter opened the door slowly, while trying to keep the puppies from escaping outside. 

“Come on, hurry up.” 

He slipped inside and greeted the puppies, then followed her to the couch. They both plopped down on the cushions. 

“So I’m guessing you were bored,” Hunter said. 

“Yeah. Tyler’s at basketball bonding and I don’t know how long it’s going to be before it’s over.” 

She nodded, “How’s he doing? Any more seizures?” Josh often vented to Hunter about everything on his mind and that included Tyler’s struggle with seizures. 

“Just absence seizures, so that’s good,” he paused for a moment, then added, “Although his meds are making him kinda moody. I mean he left this morning before I was even awake and really short with me last night.” 

Hunter looked at him knowingly, “Are you sure you didn’t just piss him off about something?” 

Josh rolled his eyes at her, “No, I didn’t do anything.”

“Well is he on a new medication?” 

“No.”

Hunter raised her eyebrows at him. “You better talk to him and fix whatever you did.” 

Josh looked at her offended, “Why do automatically assume that it’s my fault.”

She shook her head, “Because he’s mad at you, moron.” Josh mumbled under his breath, “He’s not mad at me.”

“Just talk with him tonight.” 

Josh nodded, “Okay.”

He sent Tyler a quick text then brought his attention back to Hunter. 

. . . 

Tyler was halfway through his second beer when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out to read the message. 

____________________________________________________________________________  
ONE NEW MESSAGE: Josh Dun: Hey, can we talk when you get home?  
____________________________________________________________________________

It was not exactly the dreadful ‘we need to talk’ but it was enough to get Tyler to stand up and walk towards the kitchen when Aiden yelled, “Hey, we’ve got shots of whiskey and tequila!”

. . .

Dylan walked into the kitchen to find Tyler. Dylan felt a slight buzz from the alcohol, but he knew it would still take quite a bit more for him to actually get drunk. 

He spotted Tyler sitting at the countertop with a beer. “Hey, have you been here this whole time?” 

Tyler looked over at him pitifully when he heard his voice to reveal that he was crying. “Shit, what’s wrong?” 

“Nobody even talks me an’more!” He looked down into his cup before bringing it up to his lips. He set the cup down on the counter then started to sob. 

Dylan walked up closer to him and immediately smelled his strong alcohol breath. “Oh, great.” 

Tyler tried to wipe his eyes, but was extremely uncoordinated and missed, then sobbed out something unintelligible. Dylan sighed, “This is not what I meant when I said to forget about Josh tonight.” 

Apparently hearing Josh’s name was the last straw for Tyler because he loudly sobbed out once he heard his name. Dylan covered his face with his hand, “Of course you’re a sad drunk. I’m not lucky enough for you to be a happy drunk, or even a violent drunk. Ugghhh, this is not going to be fun.” 

Dylan threw Tyler’s backpack over his shoulder, and helped him up then held onto Tyler’s shoulders and guided him outside, all while Tyler continued to loudly cry. 

They made it outside of the building and started heading towards Dylan’s car. Tyler sobbed out, “I jus’ miss him so much!” Dylan rubbed his back as they continued to walk, “I know, buddy.” 

Tyler momentarily choked on his saliva as he cried, “An’ he doesn’t even wanna talk ‘me anymore.” 

Dylan sighed, not sure what the correct response would be. His car came into view and he was relieved because he was practically dragging Tyler by that point, “Look, my car is right over there, then you can sit down.” 

Tyler stumbled forward and would have fallen if Dylan was not holding him up. They were about ten feet away from the car when Tyler choked on his saliva again, then proceeded to throw up all down the front of his shirt. 

“Ughhh,” Dylan groaned as he pushed Tyler’s head down so he wouldn’t throw up on himself again. Tyler continued to cry as he threw up again, that time on the asphalt. Dylan felt nauseous from the smells and sounds that came from Tyler, but rubbed circles on his back, knowing that Tyler felt one hundred times worse than he did in that moment.

He waited a few more minutes until he was sure Tyler was done throwing up, then helped him stand upright again. Tyler had a mixture of vomit and snot smeared all over his face and Dylan had to take a deep breath to prevent himself from dry heaving. “Okay, come here.” He led Tyler towards his car then unlocked it. He leaned Tyler up against the car then reached inside for the tissues in his center console. He handed some of the tissues to Tyler, “Wipe your face off.” 

Tyler took the tissues from him and did a less than mediocre job cleaning his face while he cried. Once Tyler was somewhat cleaned up, Dylan helped him into the car. He bucked Tyler’s seatbelt for him, set his bag down by his feet, then walked around to the other side of the car and got in. 

Once the car had started up Tyler began loudly sobbing again. Dylan sighed and rubbed his face, “You are really not a fun drunk to be around.” 

Tyler ignored him. He cried out, “Where ‘re we goin’?” 

“I’m taking you home.” 

Apparently Tyler did not like that because he cried even louder. Dylan clenched his hands harder around the steering wheel; Tyler was giving him a headache. 

“Don’t you want to see your boyfriend? I’m sure he’ll make you feel better.” 

Tyler sloppily shook his head, “He isn’t even like me anymo’.” He cried. Dylan glanced over at him. Tyler looked completely miserable. Dylan drove faster.

Tyler started to cough and Dylan’s head shot towards his direction, “Please, please do not throw up in my car.” Tyler wiped his face with his hands. 

Finally the apartment building Tyler lived in came into view. Dylan parked his car then got out and walked around to help Tyler out. Dylan wondered how it was even possible for someone to cry for that long. “Okay, stand up, we’re going inside.” He pulled Tyler to his feet, grabbed his backpack, then headed towards the door marked 8C. He was beyond thankful that it was on the ground level. 

Once in front of the door, he held Tyler up with one arm, then knocked loudly three times. He waited around fifteen seconds before the door opened. Dylan was honestly shocked at first by the person in front of him, he had never actually met Josh before. He was not sure what he was picturing but the guy in front of him had blue hair and stretched ears. 

After getting over his initial shock he cleared his throat, “Uhh, we had some alcohol at the house tonight and Tyler kind of overdid it...by a lot.” 

Josh immediately reached forward for Tyler with an extremely worried facial expression, and helped him get inside, then reached for his backpack. 

“He threw up a couple of times earlier, just a heads up.” Josh nodded, but was entirely focused on Tyler who was still crying. 

It was evident that Josh was ready to start helping Tyler clean up, so Dylan took a step back, “I’m going to go, tell Tyler tomorrow that I hope he feels better.” 

Josh nodded, “I will. Thank you for bringing him home.” Dylan offered a small smile and thanks then made his way back to his car. 

Josh closed the door and set the bag down then focused all of his attention on Tyler.

Tyler was totally wasted.

He sighed, then guided Tyler into the bathroom. Once they were in the bathroom, Josh examined all of the damage. Tyler had puked all down the front of his shirt, and it also looked like his diaper had leaked, going off of the fact that he jeans looked damp. 

Josh put his hands on his hips, “Okay.” He moved forward and pulled Tyler’s shirt over his head, careful not to get any puke on him. 

“What’re you doin’?”

“Helping you clean up. You’ll feel better once you’re in clean clothes.” 

Tyler’s crying quieted down slightly as Josh moved to pull his pants down. His suspicions were proven true once he got Tyler’s pants fully off. His diaper was definitely leaking and looked like it had been used multiple times. Josh moved forward and ripped the sides then pulled it off. 

“Jesus, Tyler.  
How long has it been since you changed?”

Tyler did not answer and continued to cry. His skin was bright red, littered with a rash that looked beyond painful. 

Josh turned the water on in the shower and let it warm up. He pulled his own clothes off, not even having time to become self conscious, figuring it would make the least amount of mess if he just got in the shower with Tyler.

He helped Tyler step into the shower, followed him in, then pulled the curtain closed.

Tyler was still crying and Josh wondered how much longer that would last. He held onto Tyler’s shoulders and moved him to stand underneath the water and get his hair wet. He went through all of the motions of washing Tyler’s hair and rising it out all while holding him up so he would not fall over. 

It was not exactly how he pictured their first time showering together would go. 

Tyler cried loudly when Josh started to wash the skin covered by diaper rash. “I know, I’m sorry, but it’s just going to get worse if we don’t wash it.” 

Once Josh had successfully washed all of the sweat and grime off of Tyler, he turned the water off and pulled the curtain back. He got out to grab a towel and turned around with just enough time to catch Tyler who started to fall over after attempting to step out of the shower by himself. Josh steadied him, then started to dry him off. 

Once he had completely dried Tyler off and quickly ran the towel over himself he turned to Tyler who had mostly calmed down. “I have to grab our clothes, stay here, I’ll be right back.” 

Josh left the bathroom and walked into their bedroom. He opened one of the dresser drawers and pulled out a pair of boxers, then pulled them on. He also grabbed a clean diaper for Tyler and set it on top of the dresser. Then he opened another drawer and pulled out a shirt for himself and a pair of sweatpants for Tyler. 

They both had their insecurities; Josh always slept with his shirt on, and Tyler always slept with his pants on. 

Josh grabbed everything then made his way back into the bathroom. When he walked inside he found Tyler crying again. 

He set everything down on the bathroom counter then turned to face his boyfriend. “What’s wrong?”

Tyler sobbed, “You lef’ me!” 

Josh took Tyler’s hand, partially to comfort him, but mostly to stop him from falling, “I told you that I was getting us clothes.” 

“No, you lef’ me!” He repeated.

“I was just in the bedroom.” Tyler ignored him and continued to cry, so Josh sighed and turned to the pile of clothes. He mumbled under his breath, “You’re never allowed to drink again.”

He picked up the diaper then turned to Tyler, “You need to lay down, I’m not going to be able to do this standing up.” 

Tyler reached forward, “I can do it myself.” Josh shook his head, “No you can’t; let me help.”

Tyler tried to grab it from him, not noticing just how wobbily he truly was, and Josh caught him as he started to fall. Josh lowered him down onto the floor.

After that he stood up and opened the bathroom closet door. After looking for a few seconds his eyes fell on the tube of diaper rash cream and pulled it out. Josh then kneeled down in front of Tyler and unfolded the diaper. “Lift your hips up.” Tyler made an effort to try but it became immediately clear that he was too drunk to do really about anything. 

Josh sighed, then struggled to lift Tyler’s hips himself. Eventually he succeeded. Then he moved on to applying the diaper rash cream. He was allowed to touch his boyfriend’s dick, that was nothing new; what made it weird was the fact that Tyler cried throughout the entire process. 

By the time Josh was pulling Tyler’s sweatpants on, he was exhausted. He pulled Tyler to his feet and guided him to the sink. 

“I’m tire’ .” 

“I know. You can sleep soon. But we need to brush your teeth, you still have barf breath.” 

Josh rinsed Tyler’s toothbrush off and put the toothpaste on it, then handed it to him. He let Tyler try by himself for a few moments but after it became clear that he was not coordinated enough in that moment to do so, Josh ended up doing it himself. Tyler’s eyes were drooping and Josh had to constantly remind him to open his mouth back up.

Josh guided Tyler to their bed and helped him climb in, then covered him up with the blankets. He leaned down and kissed Tyler’s forehead, “Goodnight, Ty.”

Josh walked out of their bedroom and made his way into the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of Advil out of the medicine cabinet as well as a water bottle, then walked back to their bedroom. He set both down on the nightstand next to Tyler, knowing that he would need it to aid his major hangover that was bound to happen. 

Josh then walked back into the kitchen and picked up Tyler’s anticonvulsant medication bottles so he could read the warnings and make sure he did not need to take Tyler to the hospital because he mixed them with alcohol. 

Just as he suspected the bottle had, “DO NOT CONSUME WITH ALCOHOL” clearly printed on it, but he consulted Google and decided that Tyler was going to be fine. Just this time. Josh was not going to let him drink anymore. 

Once he put everything back where it was supposed to go, Josh made his way into their bedroom and climbed into bed with Tyler. He took a deep breath, then closed his eyes and relaxed into his pillow. 

. . . 

Josh opened his eyes when the sound of Tyler groaning registered in his ears. He looked over to find Tyler holding his head with both hands. “Ughhhhhhh.” 

Josh sat up, “Hey,” he said softly. 

Tyler turned his head in his direction but kept his eyes closed. “My brain is melting.” 

“There’s a bottle of Advil next to you. Water too.” 

Tyler groaned as he rolled over to grab the pain relief medication. 

Josh threw his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, “Meet me in the living room. We need to talk about this.” 

Tyler felt like death as he laid a hand over his eyes, which were extremely swollen from crying so much. The last thing he wanted to do was talk and he felt like crying all over again as he processed the words. The pain in his head was no longer the only thing he was thinking of. 

He sat up on the bed, and took a moment to adjust because he was dizzy and momentarily thought he was going to throw up. 

He was moving extremely slow and it took him three times as long as it normally would to change. He skipped the shower, not interested in how miserable it would make him feel. He wanted to lay in bed all day but made his way into the living room regardless. 

Josh was sitting on the couch. Tyler walked over to him and sat down. They sat in silence, neither of them knowing how to start. Eventually, Josh cleared his throat. 

“Why did you drink so much yesterday?” 

Tyler did not answer, simply hung his head down, then reached a hand up to cover it because he was in so much pain. Josh repeated himself, “Tyler, why did you drink so much yesterday?” 

Tyler sighed then whispered with his eyes closed, “I didn’t want to be able to feel anything.” 

Josh looked at him with a broken expression. He did not speak for a while, taking the time to process what Tyler had said and form his response in his head.” 

“...Have you been thinking about hurting yourself? Cutting?” 

Tyler shrugged his shoulders almost in a bored manner and that scared Josh so much. 

Josh had a knot in his throat as he tried to speak, “Did something happen or have you just been feeling bad lately?” 

Tyler glared at him then spit out, “Don’t pretend like you don’t know.” 

The tone of Tyler’s voice stabbed at Josh's heart and he shook his head confused, at a loss for words. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes. 

Tyler’s eyes prickled with tears, “Are you-are you cheating on me?” His voice cracked on the last word and Josh wanted nothing more but to pull him into his arms and never let go. Josh shook his head in disbelief, “No of course not, why would you-why would you even think that?” 

Tyler let out a forced manic laugh, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that ‘Hunter Scube’ is always texting you, and you’re always making up excuses to go to his place. And you said that he needed to stop ‘sending you pictures of his cute face or you’d want to live with him’.” Tyler was screaming at him, headache forgotten.

Josh’s mouth hung open. 

“Tyler, Hunter-Hunter is a girl.” 

Tyler threw his hands up, “So you’re cheating on me with a girl? That’s even worse!” He sobbed.  
Josh tried to hold Tyler’s hand. 

He made eye contact, “I’m not cheating on you,” he said as he tried to ignore the pang in his chest that Tyler would even think that, “Hunter is just my friend. I met her at work.” 

Tyler crossed his arms and wiped his eyes, “Then why did you say she had a cute face?” 

Josh actually chuckled, mostly from nerves, “It wasn’t her face, it was a puppy.” Tyler looked at him confused yet angry. “It was supposed to be a surprise. Her dog had puppies and she’s giving us one. I thought we could have him trained as an emotional support animal, or a seizure alert dog for you.” 

Tyler studied his face for any indication that he was lying. He found nothing. 

Josh took Tyler’s hands into his own, and looked into his eyes, “Tyler, I would never ever cheat on you. Ever. I promise that I’m never going to intentionally hurt you...I love you.” 

Tyler looked up at him shocked and his vision became blurry as his eyes welled up. He let go of one of Josh’s hands to cover his mouth with his hand; his face of pure adoration. He sat frozen.

“I love you, too,” his voice cracked. 

. 

Tyler was feeling way too many emotions all at once. He took a moment to cry, so overly relieved that Josh was not cheating on him and that he loved him. Josh pulled Tyler against his chest and let him cry. 

They stayed like that for a while. Tyler moved back and wiped off his face. 

“I can take you to meet Hunter and the puppies tomorrow if you want.” Tyler nodded his head and wiped at his eyes again. 

“I love you, Tyler,” Josh said, just wanting to say it again. He meant every word. Tyler leaned forward and kissed him, Josh not even caring about the snot and tears getting transferred over to his face. 

They moved into a more comfortable position on the couch and Josh turned to face Tyer, “We need to work a little more on communication. A relationship goes both ways and we need to get better at that. No more secrets.” 

Tyler nodded, agreeing. 

“That being said, I need to tell you something,” Josh had Tyler’s full attention, “I-,” he took a deep breath, “I relapsed.” 

Tyler’s face fell, “What? When?”

Josh looked down at his lap, “This week.” 

Tyler took his hand and rubbed small circles with his thumb, glancing over his knuckles to see if there was any indication of him purging. “How many times?”

“Four.” 

Tyler closed his mouth to prevent himself from audibly gasping as the image of Josh making himself throw up four times entered his mind. 

“Some girl at work said something and it just got in my head.”

Tyler looked at him seriously, “Do you want me to punch her in the face? I mean you did it for me last year, it's only fair that I repay you.”

Josh laughed and it really helped to ease the mood. “No, I’d prefer that you didn’t get arrested for physically assaulting someone.” 

“Well, let me know if you change your mind,” Tyler said, smirking and squinting his eyes because of the lights. 

Josh smiled. 

“Seriously though,” Tyler started, “Let me know what you need me to do and I’m here.” Josh smiled at him, “Thank you...I want to be good. I don't want to get bad again.” 

Tyler happily smiled at him, “I’m proud of you.” 

It was quiet for a moment before Josh spoke, “I still haven’t forgotten about what you said earlier. Have you been thinking about cutting again?” Tyler sighed, thinking he had escaped that conversation. 

“Yes.”

Josh looked at him sadly, “Was it because of me?”

Tyler was quiet, “...I kept asking myself why I wasn’t good enough, why you didn’t want me, and it spiralled from there.” 

Josh pulled him into his arms, “You are good enough, too good for me actually. Please promise me you will talk to me if you feel like you need to hurt yourself."

Tyler nodded against his chest, “And the same goes for you.”

Josh nodded and squeezed him tighter. 

“And Tyler? Promise me one more thing please,” Tyler looked up at him, “Please don’t drink anymore. It’s really dangerous with your meds and it isn’t even legal yet.”

Tyler moved his head farther into Josh’s chest, his hangover headache still at full force, “I promise.” 

“Thank you...How about we go lay down together?”  
Tyler nodded, relieved that he would be able to rest, “That sounds fantastic.” 

Josh called off work, then he and Tyler made their way back into their bedroom. They climbed under the covers to snuggle together and Tyler moved so his head was resting on Josh’s shoulder. He was so happy that they were okay. 

“Ty?” 

“Hmmmm?” 

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comment, subscribe, 
> 
> Stay alive, A.

**Author's Note:**

> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT PLEASE!!!!
> 
> Don't forget to leave kudos, subscribe, and share!!
> 
> Most importantly,  
> Stay Alive, A.


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